I Quit (sometimes)

I sat down to paint. I got out my paper and brushes. I even had an idea! But as soon as it was time to start, I felt resistance.

Resistance is a normal part of the creative process. Often, the solution is to push through the barrier our mind creates and get the piece started anyway. However, lately I am taking a different approach. Lately, if I sit down to create and it feels like a struggle…I quit. Yes, that’s right. I set the paper down and walk away.

Normally I would add “start creative project” to my never-ending to-do list. The art project then turns into another obligation, another have-to. I become resentful of the very thing I run to when I need solace, or when I’m excited about a new idea. This generates a love/hate relationship with creativity that is not beneficial for me or the idea wanting to express through me.

The truth is I’m tired. I was sick for two weeks. My cat passed away. And like all of us, I am feeling the collective exhaustion from the world right now.

And so…when I sit down to paint or write and the colors or the words feel trapped behind a wall, I walk away and do something else (without an ounce of guilt). I spent the majority of my adult life pushing hard, striving, grinding, etc. There is a place for that. But my creative practice is not one of them. The point of the practice is to soothe me, or channel some thought or idea into physical form. It’s not meant to stress me out and cause overwhelm. I don’t need more of that. I’m guessing you don’t either.

My biggest fear in walking away is that I’ll never create anything ever again. But, I just drafted this blog post so…. There’s proof I can still create, even if I sometimes quit for a while.  

If you are feeling exhausted and weary, maybe it’s okay to leave the idea for another day when it’s ripe and ready to flow.